Dominick opened the frontdoor, and then stopped at the mailbox. Great. Phone bill.He didn?t know why he had a phone. No one ever called him.Electric bill. Cable bill. Dominick groaned as he made hisway up the stairs. When he got to his apartment, he noticeda package in front of his door. That?s weird, Dominickthought. I wasn?t expecting anything. He bent down to pickit up. It was addressed to him and everything. Dominickshrugged his shoulders, unlocked the door and entered hismodest one bedroom apartment.He turned on the lights and headed straight to hisrefrigerator for a nice cold one. Too many years of downingbeers had also added to the girth in Dominick?s midsection. After retrieving his beer, Dominick headed to hiscouch. He let the package drop to the couch, then precededto strip out of his wet clothes, down to his wife beaterand tight whitie underwear. They don?t make boxers inDominick?s size. Dominick sat down, relieved to finally beout of his wet clothes. He grabbed his beer,. I was being punished, and all I could do was ask for forgiveness. “Rachel?” Satan asked. I ignored her and continued to pray, screaming my sorrow to the heavens and begging God for mercy. “Holy shit Rachel, cut it out, I’m trying to tell you something!”“Father forgive me for my transgressions. I deserve your punishment and accept your verdict. Please Father, save my soul. I am undeserving of your mercy but I ask for it in my hour of need. Please Father, have mercy upon me.”“Alright, God,” Satan yelled into the endless orgy, “you win this round, come over here and help me out.”“Ha!” an angelic voice boomed from the crowd, “pay up, bitch!”“Goddamn it, Rachel,” Satan growled at me, “you just let Joseph Stalin into heaven, nice job.” A beam of golden light descended from a hole at the top of the cavern. Joseph Stalin ascended in a heavenly aura from the crowd, both his hands flicking off the poor souls below him as he laughed manically. “I’m gonna miss that mustache,” Satan said sadly,.
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